hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
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