how can u be prego again
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
