It's Friday. Sex?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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