hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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