Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
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