I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
BRING THE BAGELS
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
