That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
