This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
