My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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