everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
