If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
