i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
