Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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