Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
you will always have a special place in my vag
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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