It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
