I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
