I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
