She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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