I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
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