Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
