Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(419): View more from Ohio

It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.

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(647): View more from Ontario

there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.

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(630): View more from Illinois

We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.

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(303): View more from Colorado

No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question

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(613): View more from Ontario

Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?

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(606): View more from Kentucky

Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any

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(502): View more from Kentucky

What's the mantra for Sunday?

(606): View more from Kentucky

I will not have sex with him.

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(636): View more from Missouri

I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.

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