I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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