The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
