So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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