i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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