How'd it feel making her break her religion?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
