ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
