So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
