On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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