Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
