i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
