Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
