i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
