Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Randomize
