there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
