Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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