I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
