nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
