i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
home. puking in laundry basket.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
two words: eviction party
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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