i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
