margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
