the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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