Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
