tell your sister to shave her snatch
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
