They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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