I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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