Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
