Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
