found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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