I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
