So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
