If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
third nipple confirmed
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
