i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
