Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
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